Dept. of Alternative Facts: Gated Communities

gated communities: (n) development building technique which features walls and gates to control entrance to community, provide security for residents and owners, and give a sense of superiority over the rest of society outside the gates; typically lived in by wealthy and those who aspire to being so; full service communities, which construct homes around golf courses, shops, and restaurants, allowing residents and guests to have all interests catered to without having to leave the community

Dear President Trump,

Thank you for working with Congress to re-open the federal government while negotiating a plan that we can all agree on.

Thank you also for clarifying that prior statements about building “a wall” is more of a figment of speech, rather than a literal, concrete barrier.  Historically, walls, in China, the Roman Empire, Berlin, and Jericho have had little effect on keeping bad people out.   They just go around, over, or under them.  The best barriers can do is direct good people to organized places of entry so that our security personnel can verify who is coming and going, that they are abiding by our laws, and that their commerce is legitimate.  Moreover, for good borders, we should have good relationships with the nations from where travelers are coming.

Given that we are now able to discuss other means of securing our boards, such as fences, electronic surveillance, methods, drones, etc. I wish to propose an additional method of directing potential immigrants through organized sites: golf communities.

This should be a method of building and business that is right up your alley too, as a developer of prestigious living quarters, entertainment venues, and golf clubs.

Along our southern border there is a lot of marginally used land, as development and business are concerned.   However, as Phoenix and Tucson, Arizona have demonstrated, lots of people like living in golf communities in warm climates.

Rather than just concrete walls and chain-link fences, I envision a series of golf communities along the border.  Immigrants could then be directed to these communities.

Initially, they would be housed, families kept together, for 90 days of quarantine.  This would give ample time for health issues to be identified and addressed, criminals to be filtered out and returned to their countries of origin, and asylum cases to be heard and decided.  Also, during this time period, those immigrants who might be granted admission to housing and employment within the larger golf community could begin to learn English, and employment skills could be verified.

After 90 days, those whom we deem desirable would move to housing within the golf community.  Education would be a benefit for them, as their children could attend school, and adults could attend English language and vocational trade classes. 

Golf communities also provide lots of employment opportunities.  Thus, the immigrants could initially build the housing, shops and restaurants, maybe even some casinos, put in the landscaping, and carry out the design of the golf courses.  These could be sold as property, time-shares, and exclusive membership deals to wealthy individuals who enjoy living and vacationing in golf communities.

Once built, golf communities provide lots of jobs to maintain the buildings, run the shops, restaurants, and casinos, trim trees, mow grass, groom the fairways and greens, etc.  These golf communities could be basically self-sustaining enterprises.

As with any gated-community, these golf communities could have member entrances, and service entrances.   No one going to a gated community wants to feel that they are being imprisoned inside those walls.  But, being a developer of such country clubs, you know how security can be discrete, while assuring that members and service personal and goods are well regulated.

There could be two ways for immigrants to leave the golf communities.  They could choose to return to their countries of origin, when they find this suitable and/or they have earned enough money to support their families there.  Or, they could develop enough English proficiency and vocational skills, through the schools provided within the golf communities, to apply for US citizenship.  As citizens, they could then go out into their new nation.  Maybe you could even set an example and employ them in your Trump-branded facilities.

Setting an example is the purpose here.  Imagine if Saudi Arabia, Iraq, or Iran has set up golf communities on the borders, rather than fighting wars with each other.  Imagine if South and North Korea used the Demilitarized Zone for golf communities rather than aiming weapons at each other.  Imagine if Venezuela used it oil reserve funds to set up golf communities to employ its displaced citizens who are trying to flee to Columbia and points beyond in South America.

I think that you could even use this as a branding opportunity.  You could put your name on these.  Rather a calling the immigrants by that name, which currently has a negative association, call them Interns.  Just as law clerks, health care professions, et al have internships for newly educated, these immigrants could be considered interns for citizenship in the US.

Thus, you could brand these golf communities: Trump Internment Golf Communities.

About hermitsdoor

Up here in the mountains, we have a saying, "You can't get there from here", which really means "We wouldn't go the trouble to do that". Another concept is that "If you don't know, we ain't telling." For the rest, you'll have to read between the lines.
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6 Responses to Dept. of Alternative Facts: Gated Communities

  1. This made me chuckle! Great idea.

  2. margaret marshall says:

    I think you may have the answer for all of this angst! Thanks! mm

  3. The Vicar says:

    Way to think outside the box Hermit. You definitely put a little more thought into it than either I or our politicians have. Bravo! My solution was to put a wall around the White House.

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