Dept. of Alternative Facts: Facts Is Facts

Fact (n) 1) reality, actuality, 2) something known to exist or to have happened, 3) something said to be true

(Satire Alert: some content is intended to amuse)

After finishing my extended series of blogs on Paul’s ministry last weekend, I wondered what else I would write about.  Maybe I would take a blog sabbatical.  Maybe I would have blogger’s-block… Ha, ha, ha.  Silly idea.

No the silly idea was when I heard that the president Trump’s advisor, Kellyanne Conway, had made up a new concept on the Sunday morning talking-heads newspeak circuit: Alternative Facts.  What a great idea.  Thus, today, I have formed a new administrative Department, of which I will appointment myself as nepotistic Cabinet Minister.

Thus begins the Department of Alternative Facts.

Facts are data points.  Information that can be verified.  Facts should not be able to be disputed.  If alternative facts exist, then the point is not whether the data is real or fraudulent, but whether two people are looking at different data sets.

For example, Ms. Conway’s comment about alternative facts came in a discussion about the number of people attending president Trump’s inauguration versus the number of people attending the Women’s March the day after.  She was defending her boss’s assertion that a million and-a-half people attended his inauguration versus somewhere around half-a-million attended the march (both estimates have grown in estimation over the week as different methods of counting and geographic boundaries, or lack thereof, have come into play).

First, crowd estimates are merely estimates, not factual head counts.  But, later Ms. Conway and president Trump clarified that they were also counting television viewers in the USA… oh, we meant worldwide.  It appears there are alternative facts to the alternative facts.

For a fact to be a fact, one must clarify whether one is discussing apples or oranges, or did she say Red Delicious MAGA apples versus tart Granny Smiths (you know all those marchers were a bunch of snippy ERA women who just can’t give up * ).  Or maybe, she meant juicy Valencia oranges versus Navels (as those marchers are doing nothing more than contemplating their own).  If one tosses out a vague facetious point, we will be more distracted and confused that informed.

( * In case you are new to my blog, I write this as satire of Trump’s belittling attitude toward those who do not agree with him.  Being at the Women’s March, I was impressed with the range of ages, genders, ethnic backgrounds, and agendas for attending.  It was hardly “one variety of apple”)

On the other hand, we can look at the D.C. regional subway system’s ridership on Friday and Saturday by 11 a.m, we have two facts to compare.  Friday, Metro recorded 193,000 riders.  On Saturday, Metro recorded 275,000 riders.

Then, count the number of buses which requested permits for parking on each day:  Friday 200 buses, Saturday 1,200. Multiply that by an estimate of how many riders might have been on those buses.

Look high angle views of the Mall to see how much of the space was filled with little red or pink hats at each event.

Inauguration Crowd on the Mall

Inauguration Crowd on the Mall

Overflow crowd from Women's March (the main crowd was from on Independence Avenue from 3rd to 14th street, one block to the right of this photo, which is taken from the Smithsonia Castle on the Mall at 9th street, thus most of the crowd is not in the photo)

Overflow crowd from Women’s March (the main crowd was from on Independence Avenue from 3rd to 14th street, one block to the right of this photo, which is taken from the Smithsonia Castle on the Mall at 10th street, thus most of the crowd is not in the photo)

Keep looking for comparable data points.  This supports estimates.

This leads us to another issue which I shall endeavor to illuminate in my newly minted position of administrator of the Dept. of Alternative Facts: our beliefs influence what facts we seek and how we interpret these facts.

Follow along, plug your ears, or roll your eyes.  All options are warranted by today’s brave new world.

“Knowleges will always govern ignorance.” — James Madison


About hermitsdoor

Up here in the mountains, we have a saying, "You can't get there from here", which really means "We wouldn't go the trouble to do that". Another concept is that "If you don't know, we ain't telling." For the rest, you'll have to read between the lines.
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16 Responses to Dept. of Alternative Facts: Facts Is Facts

  1. KerryCan says:

    I’d feel a lot more comfortable with you as the administrator of the Dept of Alternative Facts than Kellyanne Conway!

    • hermitsdoor says:

      Maybe my alternative facts will be the alternative to the alternatives… Circular reasoning should be a theme in an upcoming post from the Dept. of Alternative Facts.

  2. As a favourite boss of mine used to quip when losing an argument- “don’t confuse the issue with facts!”…might be a good motto for your new department.

  3. Paul J. Wigowsky says:

    Alternative Facts are created by Inflated Egos. Thus, small becomes “Huge!” Reminds me of the fisherman who caught a rainbow trout and told people it was the size of a chinook salmon. We have to remember that American “Tall Tales” are part of our culture — i.e. John Henry, Paul Bunyan, Pecos Bill, and others.

    • hermitsdoor says:

      Love those “Tall Tales”, and I wholely agree that we are a culture of exaggeration. I’m not sure that I want my news sources to be telling a good lie though. Reality TV shows are not about reality. You will be glad to know that I do not fish… but if I did, the story would be good!

  4. Laurie Graves says:

    Terrific post! Yes, data points. Bald-face lying is the weapon of the tyrant.

  5. Too true. Too true. Up to a point, that is….

  6. Congratulations on your new appointment. This is an astute and factual post!

    • hermitsdoor says:

      I shall take my appointment seriously… well, not really 🙂 At times a client may question whether I document “good things” about her or him. My standard response is that my job is not make judgments about what is “good or bad”, as that depends on the ethical code by which we might make such decisions. My job is to document accurately what occured in our therapy session. Also, being somewhat of a Devil’s Advocate minded writer, I shall be questioning a variety of positions. Ample opportunities to step on many toes.

      • I love that. There’s some toe-stepping going on right now and I’ve stepped into it – MT McGuire and RoughSeas are going at it on MT’s latest which I just reposted. Nothing like a Sunday argument between friendly bloggers!

  7. The Vicar says:

    Lucky us! We are witnesses to an administration masterfully shooting arrows into the air, painting a bulls-eye around the spot where the arrow lands, and exclaiming BULLS-EYE!!

    It’s going to be hard to not get distracted in this game of Presidential Three-Card-Monty.

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